Mr Skin Presents: Women in Prison Triple Feature (Chained Heat, Red Heat, Jungle Warriors) (2011)

Directed by Paul Nicholas, Robert Collector, and Ernst R. von Theumer

Starring Linda Blair, Sybil Danning, Stella Stevens, John Vernon, Tamara Dobson, Sylvia Kristol, Paul Smith, and Marjoe Gortner

Unrated

USA, West Germany, Austria, Mexico

On Tuesday July 12, 2011, Panik House Entertainment and Mr. Skin bring a limited print run of three classic women in prison films together on DVD for the first time ever. Each film has an introduction from Mr. Skin himself, providing his patented brand of skintastic skinformation about the important issues in each film (AKA the oft nude cast members), interviews with Stella Stevens and Sybil Danning, and best of all, a fully remastered and uncut Chained Heat never before available in North America (damn those Southerners!)!

First up is arguably the best Women in Prison films of all time: 1983's Chained Heat. Coming shortly after her no doubt unforgettable appearances on Love Boat, Fantasy Island and some show called Laugh Trax, Linda Blair attempts to bring stone-faced seriousness to a movie that as evidenced by merely watching it, is about as serious as some analogy I haven't thought of yet.

Blair plays naive teen Carol Henderson, who ends up in a super shitty prison after she accidentally offs a dude. Once there, she gets all caught up in a whirlwind of violation and gratuitous nudity involving skeevy Wardon Backman (John Vernon), race-centric gang leaders Ericka (Sybil Danning) and Duchess (Tamara Dobson) and some rape-happy lesbians. For a full review, check out Movies About Girls episode 109.

Nextly, comes 1985's also epic women in prison feature Red Heat. Linda Blair returns yet again to her rightful place as B-movie mainstay, this time around playing college student Christine Carlson who, after getting jilted by her boyfriend for Uncle Sam, gets kidnapped in West Germany and sent to the pokie for admitting to a crime she didn't commit. Once inside, she starts a mancala and herbal tea social circle and everyone lives happily ever after. The end.

No, just kidding. She actually gets the bitch treatment from hard-ass prisoner Sofia (Sylvia Kristol) until she can't take it any more and ends up in the fight for her life to maintain her dignity and eventually, freedom.

More of a hybrid of WIP/Nazisploitation, Red Heat delivers at least as well as well that Schwarzenegger/Belushi masterpiece of the same name; so watch it, all right?

Lastly, we conclude our journey with 1984's Jungle Warriors. This time around, we skip the phony baloney Hollywood stuff and get straight to hardcore reality as a group of supermodels head to South America for a deep-jungle photo shoot but get shot down by drug lord Cesar (Paul L. Smith) and subsequently tortured by Sybil Danning and gang-raped by Cesar's cocaine growing baddies. Eventually they get some guns and make their bid for freedom - by any means necessary!

I'm not going to beat around the bush about this: If you watch movies, particularly those of the ilk of this site, you must own this DVD. Confirmation censuses will be taken and all violators will be executed (or at least sternly scolded), so stop reading this and go to Synapse Films right now. Thank you.

-Jeremy Vaca