Starring Anna Biller, Bridget Brno, Jared Sanford, Chad England
Unrated
USA
"I've always wanted to be a prostitute. It sounds so romantic!"
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtJzD0L8Jut7I9J4L4J_azQl370JhHGMJqJ9hiowu1A3FnZVAxqhKcvwCdQ5HTDXEdZ0Hnk1Ub_170KCiaO3VDvhmcMN9ZpZbGRg1W2bbvwjT-cmYZVzk_UzsEhQNziqq570ViXwiVj_qW/s400/Viva-Cover-unrated-new-big.jpg)
As Viva opens, we meet Mark (Biller regular Jared Sanford), the quintessential 70's man. He's boastful, horny, and unattractive. With his lop-sided helmet of hair and yellow slacks, he looks like everyone's pervy uncle. Mark lounges around his pool, chain smoking and fiddling with his new camera. His bosomy blonde wife Sheila (Bridget Brno, Caffeine) comes out to greet him.
"Good morning, lover," she purrs.
"You call this morning?" He says, nonsensically. And then they both laugh like mental patients.
Sheila tosses a few cubes of ice into her glass and Mark splashes in some Dewars. Then she picks up his copy of Playboy.
"Coffee and the paper," she says. "The perfect breakfast!"
And then they both laugh again.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBBBp98RrL6dc_meR6xaEFVI7I-DmZxv5ubz9WETT0aEwjTBbTct5PtWcu9XG9vNidXTVe81-mW_vPj0o7ru6x-7P_BPLoEgTb_NNXuiO0E6pCwbfYXdUbnZCY2U9syMoTfACbMuWqW2OD/s400/shelilaMarkPool.jpg)
Sheila settles down by the pool and leafs through the faded magazine (all the vintage books and magazine in Viva really are vintage, which is a distracting detail. They really should look brand new, shouldn't they?), pointing out that her "bustline" is better than any of the girls in the magazine. Mark agrees.
"That's right, honey," he says. "If I can say one thing about you, you've got great tits."
They start discussing the possibility of an impromptu nude shoot right there in their backyard, when their friend and neighbor Barbie (Biller) shows up. They ask her why she's visiting.
"Sheer boredom," she tells them, in a zombie monotone.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2T5qgp5eyC-cWxr_y__CzsxmXApAo0SY3MObRAQGK20vT_RoMTi92asojWfOyxvd9MuDT8-rjVXw35Bwzq9dgPRxizmePpL3OAbkq4QFakb0sq4IpcdNCGTjhkKJemy-5H6_T4ptsn30H/s400/photoshoot.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsEj9ayAQFBYQ2g7Ml0T3TDvuacyJqL9V2aTZ_u01xnnhb4DT_X4AgHb7VPESUFWL6Hjd-qchzpzScRypA-jXpCkiJ895dzHBJWRUDfRZlJPqddN1cImrxky7x9kqZvE19thFzXFRq4_0E/s400/peachnighite.jpg)
Rick leaves town on business, and Barbie decides to pursue this modeling lark. Her first stop is the Gladstone modeling agency, where she meets Miss Marker (Veronica Alicino), who looks her over and decides that, with a new hairdo and a makeover, she might be able to get her some work in "Catalogs and...art movies."
Miss Marker sends her to the hairdressers and then suggests the two meet later for a private photo shoot at her house.
"It'll probably go late," Miss Marker purrs, "But you can sleep over my house if you want."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoZ4eZGlyxn9W7va6bsy16h0kkt6793fzbJnOCYXO-DkI-5VRhnMucSJBx4A7ZoQ2YlDfrwC8K90pHhif68kD16HAFXj9yLgwQlEqSXoCpk181KrG5apszuRECqNHrLdWB52chtIEhT15W/s400/shermanBarbie.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5OYeLLzJbEkZQAaxqm2atzlczAn7eiTXAcBzpmplVUNqMXyC492oFME_YPX-nngBSAPFk830wSn6jYlAO40sokgkJNNj-2JXSaIWXlorGE_IprM6Bzql_a7U0ztIf5LyH-ii8LykzjcBA/s400/meetingmrsjames.jpg)
"Isn't this exciting?" Sheila asks. "Two girls in the big city without husbands!"
"Yes," Barbie agrees, but what should we do?"
"I don't know," Sheila shrugs. "Let's go stand over there and think about it."
And that's exactly what they do.
While the two women in their racy outfits stand in a doorway and ponder their next move, Mrs James (Carole Balkan), a madam from the local brothel, spies them from her binoculars
She trots over to them and compliments them on their sexy outfits.
"We want to have adventure," Sheila explains.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxURnGiACOc6_yIcQFxPanmIyEQq0nu9pzkMJh9m3UxXFglHPHkI1vikibxPY8LUfOeQvQxDECPNialSyEM5u2aeAbWhz9YFrxxUc_kWqKXhNKcggblsWWWzTy7DVV4V0CfFD3R2V4pZrA/s400/firstgig.jpg)
Sheila changes her name to Candy. Then she dreams about purple horses and sings in the bathtub while chugging scotch. Barbie, now calling herself Viva, takes a gig at a nudist colony. Annie McAuley, from classic 80's Canuck teensploitation flicks Recruits and Loose Screws, is lounging in a hot tub when she gets there, and informs her that she'll have to get naked if she plans on sticking around. She refuses, but there's so many naked people already in the frame that it hardly matters. It is also remarkable how 70's people look when they're naked and either sitting in hot tubs or playing acoustic guitars.
By the way, there's an all-nude acoustic folk-rock interlude at this point. How could there not be, really?
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip0khQewASl8_-WfNXUiNSf_Al5EEkQsmX4xUZTQGxZZuTQMJLqWWe96t6TQuO7zo3zzqLnMs8n6VBL9VS2hSPjX9f9WIzzVEWvpm90__tj0iac3RraSVX62NdtsXFqXejv067Eb-YWJ0b/s400/inbedwithelmer.jpg)
"I thought I would hate myself for this," Barbie tells her hippy lover. "But I don't. I hate you."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibWPpGJsesiY1eNYQ6sBZa85wG6EvV_mfjMHdaKJOKJ3nTVc7Rs4n9glkOFBrlA7arKS6I5xEPaie4jzzzsFVE5ARyPv3zSGU8AzFxaJXoYaut8RA5q3lQJ0CclTFDcAFf-2UyjgqjcqSn/s400/clyde.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQYLyMEHmqecnjAuSz_5sjiCECqH9B59J-JW_Ni0a2hrTDBkGzY2HVambRsGmgUxmPuF5u6vdr2AJVonrdOxF125VGbPu0rwpINemubQPwEdpq7LC7wOuHj6ItZksI8NljRVSO3zsaqNAK/s400/rapedbyfurley.jpg)
Staring straight at the camera with a bubbly naked redhead (Andrea Lain) on his lap, Mark sums up the 70's:
"There has never been a better time to be a man," he says. "The willing women, the dandy clothes, the frills, the big rings and jewelry, the open shirts, the sense of entitlement. Take it from me: savor this time, for it will soon be gone, never to return."
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimWLIydwj7g5ONTCv2sYVBBMiWFxCcYdcvtjkaEMSkpceHTagmbxljreSTDBPbDsa1v-t8e8rwzEgPQjGeuCmge_9Jwf7G1pC6eFwO2p2gdnNFY9D_F9TCQKg6qgItWvC5CbwNMRlxv2U/s400/markspeech.jpg)
Despite the fact that she's been enjoying his hospitality and wealth, Barbie/Viva has yet to consummate her relationship with Clyde.
Frustrated, he visits Mrs. James who, after all, set Barbie up with him the first place.
"She wants to be my friend," he scoffs. "Honestly, who wants to be friends with a girl?"
Mrs. James gives him a pill that will put Barbie into a "trance state". I'm not sure how that helps, but Ok.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbGC63xPxYJ9ceQjQmogc4ByrVz4W9_zcn2Ueo5vFAcQpBcCnTTxqShPqHi6tYjPoHhu2E1mBEgujrK0RlD8B_B9qL0l8jf0wKhRoEQEy6_KplFHCJbi0kd_gDbEhcuX2wOWliG7zzkjZD/s400/goddess.jpg)
"Wow, you turn me on," random mustache dude tells her.
"Turn you on?" Viva mocks, puffing on her cigarette. "I turn all men on."
Viva performs an ear-battering musical number while people fuck on the floor all around her but nearly passes out from Clyde's weird pill. Mark recognizes his old neighbor and rushes to help (the only moment in the entire film, by the way, where a character shows any compassion whatsoever), but Clyde shoos him away, whisking Viva away to his bedroom. She starts hallucinating in cartoons while Clyde ravishes her supple body.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf2QPJY9y2BffekbUj-N7bGy-KlLhI86bGioCG6-1wovGc1rcQYapBjiBM5ddqECB9q9gnTMy_GwhaIdGnooB6rv7tlV9YrK4EEFbcwQKZkDq0B6kSsTBBZb2wo-t4Qej4bW19-UPd2Yhg/s400/hallcination.jpg)
These questions and a fistful of others you haven't even thought of yet all get answered in the thrilling and sugar-sweet climax of Viva.
At two-plus hours (in the unrated Cult Epics DVD, at any rate), Viva is a commitment, on many levels. It definitely rides the thin line between eye-rolling performance art and dead-on kitsch, and is probably a tough watch for anyone not accustomed to soul-draining 60's and 70's sexploiters from the bottom of Doris Wishman and Harry Novak's trash barrels. But for freaks like you and I, it's pure z-movie delirium, a dizzy Nyquil cocktail of loony fashions, wall-to-wall nudity, and painful musical interludes. I could watch it everyday. Especially if I had a white shag rug to lounge on, and an endless supply of Dewars and Kents to keep me company.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhmr1cqpOO1bOUuR6TP1F5Mj8qev_rw1emOhKcYcVfnMtyczm24ofydbHR3YxE2vxqXLryF2mGrtNA4NonCxpH7VOxPI9A_xiXL_kU3FdLZLBivqzsDF-qkgpe3rapGXBv8kE__XkPQ-V5/s400/barbiesboobs.jpg)
Availability: Viva is available on DVD
Clip: Viva trailer!
Link: Anna Biller's Website
- Ken McIntyre