Big Bad Mama (1974)

Directed by Steve Carver

Starring Angie Dickinson, Robbie Lee, William Shatner 

Rated R

USA 

“Never trust a girl giving away her donuts for free.”

It's the old-timey days. Which ones? The 30’s. The Depression. Angie Dickinson is Wilma, mother of two teenage daughters, conniving Billie Jean (Susan Sennett) and infantile Polly (Robbie Lee). With so little money to go around and no daddy and/or husband around, what’s a mom supposed to do? She’s gotta feed her family, and there’s really only two options: sex or crime. Wilma chooses both. 

First, though, she’s got to deal with dopey Polly’s latest crisis. When the film opens, Polly is about to get hitched to local yokel Charlie. Mama is not happy, and the wedding quickly turns into a melee. Wilma interrupts the proceedings halfway through, and a church-wide fist-fight ensues. Polly's boob falls out and Wilma steals the church's collection plate. They all take off in their pal Barney's car. Where? “Anywhere but East Texas,” says Wilma.

They hit the road, getting out of town before the angry townspeople get 'em, but they're soon pursued by the feds (Dick Miller!). They elude the cops – Robbie lets her boobs dangle out the window -but not before the law gets one good shot in, killing Barney.

Now the girls are on their own! Can they manage without a man?

Sure. They decide to run Barney's moonshine business without him. It's not an easy gig, though. On her first delivery, Wilma goes to to the wrong house and wrestle a fat old lady.

Also, Polly gets way too friendly with the customers.

Turns out the guy she as cavorting with was the sheriff's son, so to get out of going to jail, Wilma tries to convince the sheriff that Polly's retarded. When that doesn't work, she has to pay him all their bootleggin' dough. Flat broke, they have to start from scratch.

Wilma gets a job a diner while the girls try out for a gig as low-rent strippers.

It goes pretty good until Wilma shows up to rob everybody.

Flush will ill-begotten cash, they hit the road once again, with the law hot on their trail. Unfortunately, their car breaks down soon after. Luckily, it breaks down right where an evangelical preacher is tending to his flock. Mama and the girl quietly slip into the congregation and jump onto their bus, headed for salvation or California, whichever comes first.

Actually, they don't wait around to find out. They rob the preacher, taking his car and his dough.

Then they hole up in a hotel for the night. The girls are so excited, they chase each other around the room. Polly's topless at this point, and also, Robbie Lee takes a real-life spill during their antics, but they keep it in the shot anyway.

The next day, they decide to rob a bank, but halfway through, Fred (Tom Skerrit ) shows up to rob it himself, and a bloodbath ensues!

In all the chaos, Wilma snatches the money and they take off, with machine gun wielding Fred right behind them. After his car gets smashed up, he ends up in Wilma's back seat. In more ways than one, if you know what I mean.

Mama's new boyfriend makes Billie Jean jealous, she she tries to gussy up to seduce him.

However, all this fornicating distracts them, and a filthy cat burglar busts in and almost gets away with all their dough Luckily Wilma shoots him and gets her money back.

And then they all dress up and go to the horse races, where she meets up with slick-willie type Baxter (William Shatner), who offers Wilma a tip on the horses. Sadly, he cannot afford to bet on them himself.

He knows how to pick them, though, and they end up making a bundle.

Said bundle increases dramatically when they rob the box office while picking up their winnings.

So then the gang heads home and Wilma has graphic R-rated sex with Baxter while Fred peeps at them through a hole in the door.

Feeling jilted, he has sex with Billie Jean, who finally gets naked. So then she's naked for the next ten minutes to make up for the first half of the movie.

And then she has a three-way with Fred and her sister. The 1930's were crazy, man!

The gang finally makes it to California, and everybody schemes about what their next big score is gonna be. While Wilma works out the details, Polly gives Billie Jean some shocking news: she's pregnant! Ah well, the show must go on. Wilma pretends to run a lunch wagon and they rob an oil refinery.

It goes pretty good except that Polly gets shot in the arm.

They fix her up and then hang out at the beach, where Wilma yells at Fred about the whole impregnating-her-daughter thing. As you do.

Wilma decides it's time the girls join high society, so they rob some rich folks for their fancy clothes and crash a high-falutin' party. Of course, they're not really there to hob-nob, they're actually there to rob everybody. Wilma suddenly pulls out a machine gun (where was she hiding it?) and they take everybody's jewelry and cash. Wilma even shoots up the cars and garden statues on the way out.

PS look close and you'll find frequent Corman collaborator Paul Bartel at the party!

And yet, that's still not enough for Wilma. She tells Fred she wants one more score: a million bucks. So they sneak onto a tennis court and kidnap Jane (Joan Prather) a snotty rich girl. She finds the whole thing pretty indignant, especially when Fred shows up later and paws at her.

Wilma sets up the ransom details. However, they're all over the newspapers at this point, and Baxter thinks this whole thing is getting out of hand.

While Wilma sets things up, Jane seduces Fred so she can escape. Unfortunately, Fred cannot help banging every chick he sees, so it works. As soon as she gets her shirt off, he drops his guard. She kicks him in the nuts and splits. Baxter, hoping to end all this craziness, lets her go and splits. Good thing Wilma shows up to fetch her.

Sadly, Baxter gets picked up by the feds. Hopefully, he won't rat Wilma and the girl out before their big score.

The big day comes. Wilma bangs Fred in the barn one last time (look close, you'll see some dark Dickinson bush!) and then makes the trade, gets the million bucks, and moves her family to Paris, where they live happily ever after.

No, that's not what happens. Baxter sells them out and bloody mayhem commences.  

It still seems odd that Angie Dickinson and William Shatner – who were both well-known and established actors at this point – would make Big Bad Mama at all, never mind appearing as naked as you possibly can in an R-rated 70’s flick. Even without their star power, Mama would have been a winner, but the sight of a fully-nude Shat slobbering over an equally unadorned  Angie should be on every B-movie fans must-see list. Throw in a spectacularly whiny appearance from Switchblade Sisters’ star and elusive exploitation icon Robbie Lee, plenty of red paint-splattering mayhem, gratuitous Tom Skerritt, the sight of the same five old timey cars crashing over and over, crisp photography, a lean, mean script that never stops moving, a refreshing lack of moral conviction, and the simple pleasures of soaking in Angie Dickinson’s mature beauty, and you’ve got the perfect drive-in flick.

Thanks to the 30’s era setting, the film hasn’t aged much in the past 40-something years, and Shatner’s current status us a camp icon makes his appearance here even more amusing now then it was in the 70’s. Plus, every woman in the movie gets naked. You can’t really ask for more than that, nor should you. All killer and no filler, Big Bad Mama is one of the primary  reasons why Roger Corman remains the King of the B’s.

- Ken McIntyre


PS: Hear the MAG crew discuss Big Bad Mama on Episode 119 of the Movies About Girls show! 

Candy Stripe Nurses (1974)

Directed by Alan Holleb
Starring Candice Rialson, Robin Mattson, María Rojo
Rated R
USA

The last of the Roger Corman-produced “nurse” films -- a series of five sexploitation romps of the early ’70s -- Candy Stripe Nurses contains a bit more plot and characterization than one generally expects to find in such fare. More coherence, too, as the various storylines do all resolve, even if they don’t have a lot of depth, nor to they have a lot to do with each other.

But hey, what are we here for -- to be edified or entertained? The latter, of course. And while hardly the best example of low-budgeted sex comedy of the era, Candy Stripe Nurses does, for the most part, entertain.

The opening credits roll over a grin-producing, mildly-bawdy animated sequence that sets a light, drive-in-fun-kinda mood.















Soon we meet the film’s three leading ladies, all of three of whom we’ll see working as “candy stripers,” a nick that comes from the red-and-white striped uniforms such volunteers typically used to wear.

We begin with Marisa (María Rojo). Silently carving a phallic-looking block of wood with a switchblade, Marisa wordlessly spurns a boy’s invite to the big Owen Boles concert. Then school official takes the knife from her, prompting her to attack him with the block of wood. A trip to the principal’s office follows, during which Marisa is told she’s going to have to volunteer over at the Oakwood Hospital.

Cut to the same sap from before, now asking the fetching Diane (Robin Mattson), a short-haired beauty in a leotard, if she wants to go to the show. But she turns him down as well. Her subsequent conversation with a friend reveals that she, too, has signed up a candy striper down at Oakwood, motivated by a desire to enter the medical profession some day.















(Some trivia: Diane’s friend is played by Tara Strohmeier, not so memorable for her bit part here, but much more so for her role as in the film-ending segment “Eyewitness News” in 1977’s The Kentucky Fried Movie, as well as for appearing in a few other drive-in classics of the period, including Truck Turner.)

Cut to the hospital, where candy striper Sandy, played by the sleepy-eyed, blonde-haired, exploitation goddess Candice Rialson (Pets, Summer School Teachers, Chatterbox), is getting it on with a doctor -- Wally (Richard Gates) -- in the linen closet. As they dress, Sandy explains how she has been given tickets to the aforementioned Owen Boles concert.

Her doctor boyfriend gives Sandy her homework that he’s done for her. She then goes home, where her mother and aunt discuss how she’s become a “quite a little woman.” Mom brags on her, noting how she gets top grades, is president of the social club, and volunteers at the hospital. Indeed, Sandy keeps busy all right, as demonstrated by her having to copy her homework while getting ready to go out.















Next comes a hold-up at a gas station that ends in one of the robbers getting shot. Then we go to the hospital, where all three of the girls are at work. Marisa is shown tending to the accused robber, Carlos (Roger Cruz). Diane is tagging along with a doctor, trying to learn more about medicine. And Sandy goes to help another patient, though once again swiftly ends up between the sheets.

We continue to follow the three in their escapades. Diane gets involved with a patient, a basketball player from the local college, Cliff (Rod Hasse), brought in after a manic episode of uncertain (and perhaps nefarious) cause. Her interest in him is apparently academic, though her study quickly takes a more intimate turn.














Marisa develops a relationship with Carlos, who explains to her he was actually an innocent bystander who got shot and then wrongly blamed. He tells her about a witness, and she takes off in an effort to help prove his innocence. Unfortunately, the gas station attendant is of no help, his racism against Latinos (“you’re all alike!”) preventing him from reconsidering his inaccurate fingering of Carlos.

Meanwhile, Sandy gets to fill in as a receptionist over in the “sex clinic,” where she takes a phone call: “Are you serious? With a duck? Three ducks...? Well, who would do it? Your sister? With Scotch tape...? But I thought you said your husband...? Oh, with pictures.... I really wouldn’t know about that.”















Much to Sandy’s surprise, the famous Owen Boles (Kendrew Lescelles) is brought in to see Dr. Kramer, the sex therapist. He has a problem, which his manager describes to the doctor as “nothing less than a national disaster.” He hasn’t written a new song in months, and apparently -- much to the dismay of his two groupies, the barely-clothed April (Kimberly Hyde) and ZouZou (Elana Casey) -- is entirely impotent as well.

The manager is convinced the two problems are related, and since the youth of America depend on Boles so greatly, the matter has become quite urgent.

Dr. Kramer suggests the abuse of drugs could be the cause of Boles’ problems, something which the whacked-out Boles seems to have hard time comprehending.















The doctor asks Sandy to call a nurse to go out to stay with Boles, but seizing the chance to get closer to the rock star, she goes out to try to “nurse” him instead.

By the pool, Sandy tells the star “You’re my all-time favorite. I have every record you ever made.” “Most people do,” he lifelessly answers. When he doesn’t respond to her advances, she can’t help but wonder “What’s the matter with you? Don’t you ever get turned on?” “Too much trouble,” exhales Boles.

Sandy decides to adopt a different strategy, playing hard-to-get and challenging his manhood. Meanwhile, Diane and Cliff go to a ballet, watch some hang-gliding, and she helps him with a term paper. Sort of.














We switch back to Marisa, still on her quest to absolve Carlos, but she runs into trouble when some attempt to thwart her efforts. She even has to fend off an attempted rape.













She manages to escape that spot, then finds the witness, though he’s strangely saying Carlos was the leader of the hold-up. After she leaves, we discover he was being held at gunpoint during her visit, and thus had to lie.

As the film draws near its conclusion, there’s still much to be determined. Will Marisa be able to absolve Carlos? Will Sandy cure Owen Boles? Will Diane find out about the true cause of Cliff’s manic episodes?

All of these storylines converge at the film’s conclusion -- literally, in fact, with hospital beds running into each other at an intersection of hallways in the hospital. Along the way there is more sex, a bit of gunplay, some reckless driving, an emergency room visit, and a basketball game with the Corman-staple Dick Miller (Starhops) in the bleachers.














While probably not the most inspired of the “nurse” films, Candy Stripe Nurses does mostly deliver when it comes to the usual genre expectations, with the three leads all earning plenty of exposure (Rialson and Mattson more so). Although the stories don’t really amount to a heckuva lot, there’s enough suspense to keep the viewer engaged. And there’s a number of grins, too, to be had here, which help get us through the shade-over-75-minute running time.

Worth checking out, then, especially for fans of Rialson, nurses, Roger Corman, or ’70s schlock.

- Triple S

Starhops (1978)

Directed by Barbara Peters
Starring Jillian Kesner, Sterling Frazier, Dorothy Burhman
Rated R
USA

"Don't you have any regular pies?"

Director Barbara Peters and screenwriter Stephanie Rothman - the creative team behind Starhops - were both responsible for an astonishing amount of girl-centric drive-in trash throughout the 1970's.  Between the two of them, their resume reads like a grindhouse marathon: It's a Bikini World (1967),  The Student Nurses (1970), Velvet Vampire (1971), Bury Me an Angel (1972), Terminal Island (1973),  Working Girls (1974 - AKA the movie-where-you-can-see-Elvira-naked), Summer School Teachers (1974), Humanoids from the Deep (1980).  Both were adept at making films fast and dirty, packing them with as many cheap thrills as their paltry budgets would allow. And so it was with Starhops.

A minor career blip for both women, Starhops borrowed liberally the then-popular nurse and cheerleader films, wrapping the age-old underdogs VS. creaky old corporate asshole plotline around a girl-powered cast of Karate-chopping, bikini-clad world-beaters, and then liberally shoe-horning then-relevant pop culture references on top.

Roger Corman's main-man Dick Miller is Jerry. He runs a drive-in burger joint called, sensibly enough, Jerry's. Problem is, business has nose-dived thanks to the rise of fast-food chains, and Jerry owes the bank so much dough that he's going to have to close down.

Naturally, he has to fire his waitresses, Angel (gorgeous Jillian Kesner, The Student Body) and Cupcake (spunky one-time actress Sterling Frazier). The enterprising carhops have a different idea, though - they want to buy the place.

The girls manages to charm the loan officer into giving them enough dough to buy the joint, and they commence to fixin' the place up. They even hire a nutty French chick, Danielle (Dorothy Burhman) as a chef.

Here's the problem, though. A sleazy oil baron, Carter Axe (Al Hopson, RIP) wants to build a gas station on Jerrys property. He saunters by to threaten the girls with some vague legal action, but they scoff at him. Then they head out to the disco.

The next morning, they start their new business. They call it Starhops, dress in space girl bikinis, and deliver the food on rollerskates, which is difficult, since none of them actually know how to skate.

Carter convinces his idiot son Norman (Paul Ryan) to get a job at Starhops so that he can spy on the girls and dig up dirt on them. Unfortunately for him, the girls are squeaky clean, although he does eavesdrop on a very suspicious, Three's Company-esque conversation. The old "Can you help me with my plumbing problem?" routine. Classic stuff.

Norman informs dad that the girls are running a legit operation. Determined to get that restaurant, Carter calls in an anonymous report about deplorable working conditions at Starhops, so the public health inspector shows up to investigate. Naturally, Norman attempts to sabotage the girls by sticking a live frog in the salad and tossing a dead rat in the soup. The health inspector gives them thirty days to clean up their act. The girls finally figure out that Norm's behind their troubles. To get him on their side, Cupcake seduces him, and he becomes part of their team. Undaunted, Carter calls in the big guns: Mad Dog.

Mad Dog figures the best way to fix the problem is by blowing the joint up. So that's what he does, with everybody in it. Blood, brains and burgers everywhere. The end.

 No. Not really. It was 1978. 1978 was all about happy endings.

For a film that's got gratuitous everything else - gratuitous Star Wars reference, gratuitous roller boogie, gratuitous Dick Miller - it's a surprisingly chaste affair. In fact, upon completion, the producers reportedly had to toss in some stunt-ass just to bump the film's rating up to an R, correctly assume that their intended audience - horny teens and drunkards - would scoff at a nudity-free 70's jiggle-com. So don't explain a sleaze-fest. Do, however, expect everything else - comic book-y bad guys, comic book-y bikers, bad French accents, a fixin' stuff up montage, groan-worthy sex gags, a heart-warming, friends-first message, a pseudo-feminist slant, and, naturally, a little kung-fu. While hardly a lost classic, Starhops nonetheless floats effortlessly on its fizzy 70's pop-culture bubble. If you like rollerskates, hotpants, and cheeseburgers - and who doesn't? - you may want to dig through the bottom of the VHS pile to find this one.

- Ken McIntyre