Repligator (2000)

Directed by Bret McCormick
Starring Brinke Stevens, Gunnar Hansen
Unrated
USA

In some top secret warehouse/military complex, a bunch of bumbling officers with names like General Mills and Colonel Sanders team up with some crackpot scientists for a series of Nazis on acid genetic experiments. The Replicator doesn't actually replicate anything, but it does transmit matter from one place to another, you know, like in the Fly. And just like in the Fly, it doesn't work right. So, instead of sending a soldier through a wall, it turns him into a hot chick. And when said hot chick gets horny, she turns into an alligator. Only the alligator in question has a dinosaur head. And when someone gets bitten by the alligator/dinosaur girl, they turn into gay zombies.

I don't believe for a second that a script was involved in the production of this movie, as the plot twists and turns at every corner, with the sleazy scientist and barking military man coming up with increasingly absurd explanations for the mayhem as they go along. It does, however, have plenty of topless chicks, including Brinke Stevens and her age-defying puppies for 2 minutes or so, and somehow or another, tits make even the most ridiculous movies all fuckin' right.

Repligator is a fun, nonsensical throwback to the goofy trashfilm "Urban Classics" howlers like Galactic Gigolo and Assault of the Killer Bimbos - mindless, horny, kitchen sink comedies destined to fry stoned teenage minds on the USA network for years to come. As an added bonus, Leatherface himself, Gunnar Hansen, embarrasses himself but good as "Dr. Kildare", inventor of the X-Ray spex, among other, less useful things.

Umm, note: the VHS copy I had disintegrated when I tried to digitize it, so no screen grabs. However, here is a totally fuckin' hot early pic of Brinke that I've been saving for a rainy/screen grab-less day.


- Ken McIntyre