Fraternity Vacation (1985)

Directed by James Frawley
Starring Stephen Geoffreys, Sheree J. Wilson, Tim Robbins, Amanda Bearse
Rated R
U.S.A.

“Astronomy major Wendell Tvedt has studied galaxies, charted planets and pondered the universe. But in Palm Springs, he’ll encounter his first full moon.”

Get it? Full moon? Yeah, I get it, too. As it turns out, the tagline to Fraternity Vacation, a tame-but-tolerable entry into the teen sex comedy category, is fairly indicative of the general level of grins contained within.

It was right smack in the middle of the 1980’s when New World Pictures launched this modest attempt to lure some of the same crowd who’d made Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Risky Business, and Revenge of the Nerds such huge hits. Of course, anyone who remembers the decade wouldn’t need to be told when this one was made, as the clothes, hair, and nonstop-MTV-vibe peg it as such well before the first Bananarama-backed montage.

The story mostly follows the familiar coming-of-age-gotta-get-the-virgin-laid trajectory found in many such films, perhaps borrowing a little more from Revenge of the Nerds than most thanks to its promotion of nebbish Wendell Tvedt as hero, played by Stephen Geoffreys (Fright Night, 976-EVIL).
















As is explained by a brief opening sequence, Wendell is pledging the Theta Pi Sigma fraternity at Iowa State University. Frigid, snowy weather means he and two of the frat brothers -- Joe Gillespie (Cameron Dye) and Larry “Mother” Tucker (Tim Robbins) -- are especially looking forward to an Easter break trip to Palm Springs. Joe and Larry probably wouldn’t be vacationing with Wendell -- a self-described “late bloomer” -- if not for the fact that it is his cousin’s condo to which they’re traveling and Wendell’s parents have paid for the trip.

Just before they leave, Wendell’s dad takes Joe and Larry aside and asks them if they could teach Wendell “a few of the tricks of the trade... with the opposite s-e-x.” Mr. Tvedt, whom we later learn is a wealthy pig farmer, tells the pair he’ll make it worth their while should they agree to provide such tutelage by putting a new sauna and jacuzzi in their frat house.

Incidentally, in a non-subtle, wannabe-arty-kind-of-flourish, this opening sequence at Iowa State is shot in black-and-white, necessarily making Palm Springs seem all the more colorful once the trio arrives. However, all is not so rosy, as it is immediately clear once they arrive Wendell might cramp Joe and Larry’s style.















So what do our fun-loving frat boys and their pledge do upon arrival? Shop for clothes, of course!

Huh? That’s right. It’s our first montage sequence. And first Bananarama song (of several on the soundtrack.)

Also in Palm Springs are other Iowa State students, including J.C. (Matt McCoy) and Chas (Leigh McCloskey) from the rival Beta Espilon house. “Betas hate Thetas,” we’re told. “It’s a tradition.” When they spot Larry, Joe, and Wendell, seeds of an impending conflict are quickly sewn.

The guys arrive at the weirdly-furnished condo -- no furniture in the living room, a decked-out master bedroom with a mirrored ceiling, and a kids’ room with bunk beds. Kind of contrived, but we can see that this arrangement will dictate only one resident is going to be able to entertain female company at a time.

After spending a few moments using Wendell’s telescope to leer at some of the bikini-clad babes at the pool, as well as one blonde in particular at a neighboring balcony...















...the guys head down to start their vacation in earnest.

Joe and Larry immediately hook up with a couple of comely co-eds -- Marianne and Chrissie -- whom we recognize as having earlier been riding with the Betas. They bring the girls upstairs, and when the bedroom situation is explained, the girls seem even more ready and willing than the guys initially suspected.

“I’ve always found that four people on a queen-sized bed can be very cozy,” says Marianne. “Marianne and I are best friends... we do everything together” says Chrissie. They all quickly head into the bedroom, and the two strip while the guys watch.















Too good to be true, right? Right. Before anything can happen, some talk of herpes from the girls frighten Joe and Larry, and soon the Betas appear to celebrate this uncertain little “trick” they’ve pulled. Some macho talk follows, and before long the four make a $1,000 bet to see who among them can be the first to succeed in seducing a mutually-selected girl.

The beauty on the balcony is chosen, and the game begins. As the first act fades out, Wendell goofily grins at the mysterious blonde swimming by, perhaps suggesting another possible outcome to the contest.

That night they head to a nightclub, where Madman Mac (Charles Rocket) is the DJ. Madman Mac plays more Bananarama, wears underwear on the outside of his jeans, and says things like “Where’s the beef?” Rocket wasn’t exactly soaring high, career-wise, at this moment, it seems.

Joe and Larry give Wendell some instructions on meeting women, telling him to consider “mediocre-looking” women as more realistic targets. “Obviously what you’re after here is a night of passion,” says Joe. “Or at least a blow job in the parking lot,” adds Larry.

Wendell approaches Nicole Ferret, played by Amanda Bearse who also co-starred with Geoffreys in Fright Night before becoming best known for her role as Marcy on Married with Children. Wendell really is hopeless, and when his first few lines fail, he bumbles into actually requesting that parking lot blow-job. Improbably, the line works -- sort of -- at least well enough for Nicole to invite Wendell to leave the club for some ice cream.
















A problem here early on is that we really barely know Wendell at all and so are only vaguely curious about what happens to him -- never mind care much what does. Perhaps that montage sequence might have been better filled with a bit more introduction of the main character to get us a little more invested.

Later on Joe and Larry return to the condo and are stunned to hear Wendell and Nicole in the master bedroom. They assume he’s managed to score in Palm Springs before either of them has, although in reality Wendell and his date are having strictly PG-rated fun, highlighted by Wendell singing Wayne Newton songs to Nicole.
















The Betas-Thetas bet continues, with Wendell suddenly moving over into the role of advising Joe and Larry. The next half-hour is then taken up with the various schemes being employed by the frat guys to land the blonde (Sheree J. Wilson) who strangely appears in a few scenes before we ever learn her name -- Ashley.

Joe, Larry, J.C., and Chas take a sauna together, and Wendell visits before going for another date with Nicole. After he’s gone, the Betas refer to him as a “wimp.” “He’s off to pick up his girlfriend while we’re hear sweating our asses off with a bunch of guys,” his future frat brother Thetas fire back. “Think about it.”
















A contrast quickly develops between the lying, deceitful frat guys, convinced they have to make up outlandish stories to bag a babe, and innocent Wendell whose honest -- if dim-witted -- approach to the ladies seemingly proves much more successful.

The Thetas’ plan involve pretending Joe is suicidal following a break-up, the idea being to solicit Ashley’s sympathy. Meanwhile, the Betas’ Chas poses as an author of an academic study, Mind, Body, and Sex, hoping to impress Ashley with his guru-like wisdom and workout techniques.

Another montage sequence follows, this one mostly involving Ashley working out to a Madonna-like song, “Physical Attraction.” Chas -- the Beta brother hoping to win the bet with Ashley -- comes along and we get to witness a rare instance of seduction by pommel horse.















As we move into the final third of the film, Wendell gets into a jam after a colossal misunderstanding lands him in jail for attempted rape. Adding to the fun, the police chief is Nicole’s father, played by Dean Wormer himself, John Vernon. The Chief doesn't like the college kids who invade Palm Springs every spring. And he especially hates boys who try to get anywhere with his daughter. All of which means he has more than double-secret probation in mind for a delinquent like Wendell.
















A series of plot twists ensue, some more believable than others, and a resolution of sorts is finally reached. Along the way, we do get to see more of pretty Ashley (sort of, with stunt boobs provided by a fairly obvious body double). There are more poolside antics. A car gets wrecked. Madman Mac returns to spin more synth-driven tunes. John Vernon’s character gets called “Chief Buttface” a few times. And there’s still another musical montage involving Ashley moodily driving a car to a Cars’ “Drive” sound-alike.

The cast might make this one a curiosity to some, with the obviously-talented Robbins doing his best and the others managing their roles as well as could be expected. And like his character in the film, Stephen Geoffreys is an actor who possesses a kind of underdog-like charm which has garnered him a small cult following. No shortage of talent among the actors here, really, whom one might say the script ultimately lets down a bit.

Not to be overly judgmental of a film clearly more interested in conveying entertainment than edification, but the general lack of character development does get in the way of things some toward the conclusion, making it unclear at times what exactly is motivating some of them by story’s end.

All could be forgiven more quickly if the jokes landed more frequently, but it too often seems like watching people yelling “party” and slamming beers is thought to be enough to entertain us.

Or full moons... hahahahaha...















- Triple S

Bikini Royale 2: The Right To Bare All! (2010)

Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)

Starring Beverly Lynne, Brandin Rackley, Jayden Cole

Unrated

USA

"You were held prisoner in an Egyptian sex slave camp for...how many weeks was it?"

"Seven."

"Ah, yes...seven weeks..."

"It gave a whole new meaning to the term 'camel toe'."

Cute and witty secret agent Tanya X (Beverly Lynne) is back on her back in this sequel to 2008's Bikini Royale: Shoot To Thrill. While the latter title found Tanya X, The Girl From B.I.K.I.N.I. (The Bureau of International Knowledge Intelligence and Nonstandard Investigations) saving the world by rescuing stolen missile plans, Bikini Royale 2: The Right To Bare All!, concerns itself with Miss X going deep undercover as a prostitute at Madame Zola'a House of Tarts in order to break apart a spy ring and find out just what is happening to her disappearing prostitute peers. Yeah, it's as awesome as it sounds.

Now, I have to admit that I was a little apprehensive about watching this, as a lot of these types of films can go pear-shaped real fast. But, within moments of starting Bikini Royale 2, I found myself pleasantly surprised - even laughing. Aloud. (I know, right?)

I suppose this should come as no surprise, as the director is none other than the legendary and incredibly prolific Fred Olen Ray, who has currently made 121 movies in his career that saw it's start in the year 1971. I've never had the pleasure of actually watching any of his work prior to this, but I have definitely heard the titles (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, anyone?) And as a bonus, if you're a "movies with the word bikini in the title" completist, this guy will keep you busy for years to come.

Bikini Royale 2 begins with Tanya X (NFL cheerleader turned Playboy playmate and erotic B-movie actress Beverly Lynne) infiltrating a hilarious looking, yet somehow kind of realistic, green-screened cabin in the North Pole to nick a copy of the book War and Pieces:

All poor Tonya has on to protect her from the harsh elements are a coat and some lacy panties, so she makes her way to the cabin to warm up and complete her mission as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, upon entering the cabin and locating the book, she finds that she is not alone. Dr. Erik Vornoff (Nick Manning), who is somehow connected to the previously mentioned spy ring, shows up right when Tonya is about to hightail it out of there with her mission accomplished, rightly wondering who the hell she is and why she's in his cabin.

Tonya quickly makes up a ridiculous story about her plane crashing and a family of polar bears guiding her to his cabin, and he eats the story up. Within moments, Dr. Vornoff has her out of her wet coat and standing before him in her sexy underthings.

Without further delay, Tonya X is "putting out like a shop-worn whore" - as her boss Mr. Shayne (Dan Golden AKA Sam Silver) earlier suggests - and spends the next 5 minutes in a strategically choreographed exercise in sanitized pornography.

Shortly after the genitalia-free lovemaking is done, Tonya attempts to sneak out with the book, but is caught by Dr. Vornoff. With one spray of her "Speepytime" perfume to the face, the doctor is knocked out cold and Tonya is on her way back to B.I.K.I.N.I. headquarters.

Upon her return, but not until after some celebratory shower masturbation, Tonya X checks in with Mr. Shayne at headquarters. It turns out that the book she recovered contains the encoded names of various enemy spies living in the US, and that they are using a brothel run by a one Madame Zola (Brandin Rackley) as an underground railroad to travel freely on American soil.

Tonya must now go back undercover (which pretty much just means putting on a pair of glasses) as a prostitute and put a stop to this un-American madness in a series of insipid silliness and hot soft-core eroticism that aren't really of much consequence as a whole, but also don't need to be because they're just so much fun to watch. Think VIP starring Pamela Anderson with a small helping of She Spies for good measure - but on a much lower budget, tons more nudity, and girls in cages(!!!) - and you'll get the vibe that Bikini Royale 2 is going for.

I couldn't manage to locate a trailer online for Bikini Royale 2, but just to give you an idea of the awkward hijinks and pun heavy tomfoolery you'll be bombarded with in a Beverly Lynn/Fred Olen Ray joint such as this, I present you with the trailer for Season 1 of the Tanya X show:

If the teaser above did it for you, you can visit Retromedia for similar titles and you can purchase this little gem from any of the fine retailers that you'll be steered towards by using your favorite search engine or whatever.

Is "Bikini Royale 2: The Right To Bare All!" silly? Yes. Is it juvenile? Of course! But, what really matters is that it teems with quirky self-awareness made all the more enjoyable to watch by the shamelessly hammy (and surprisingly competent) acting that makes it quite apparent that the cast knew exactly what they were going for. This does not appear to be accidental bad (I say "bad" with affection, of course), like so many other cult classics tend to be, but instead, bad on purpose; and Fred Olen Ray and crew actually do it right where so many others fail. As my friend The Fox would say, and I wholeheartedly concur, "Congratulations to you on that win." Congratulations, indeed.

- Jeremy Vaca

Pandemonium (1982)

Directed by Alfred Sole
Starring Tom Smothers, Carol Kane, Judge Reinhold, Paul Reubens, Candy Azzara
Rated PG
U.S.A.

Close on the heels of the sudden rise of the slasher genre in the early 1980s came a brief little burst of slasher parodies, remembered by some though largely forgotten. Among the titles in this little niche are Student Bodies (1981), Saturday the 14th (1981), Pandemonium (1982), and Wacko (1982).

Taken together, these flicks might be said to have a couple of things going for them. All appeared well before Scream and a number of other films sometimes regarded as clever, “postmodern” commentaries and/or extensions of the genre. And all enjoy small cult followings, mostly by those who recall airings on the early days of HBO or who watched them as VHS rentals.

These films also all share many of the same failings, too. All more or less adopted the same absurdist approach used by Airplane! (1980) in its send-up of Airport and other disaster films, though without the genuine inventiveness or consistently successful humor. All pretty much tanked at the box office, too, not coming close to the commercial success of many of the films they spoofed. And all were universally panned by critics -- understandably, for the most part.

Of the group, Pandemonium was actually directed by someone who had directly contributed to the slasher genre -- Alfred Sole, whose Hitchcockian thriller Alice, Sweet Alice (1976) stands as a minor classic of the form. Richard Whitley, co-writer of cult fave Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (1979), also had a hand in the script here. And the cast is filled out with several recognizable faces at various stages of their careers, many of whom have a number of well-received performances to their credit.

Ultimately, however, Pandemonium ends up coming off much like the other films in this group, a very amateurish-looking affair with a lot of over-the-top goofiness that mostly misfires, most particularly for audiences coming to the film a few decades after Airplane! and all of its imitators.

The film begins with a melodramatic credits sequence replete with full moon, threatening clouds, and urgent music.














We’re then taken to a college football game (with cheesy, obvious stock footage) involving “It Had to Be U” in Indiana, 1963. Blue Grange (Tab Hunter) scores the winning touchdown, and much celebration follows.

We meet Bambi (Candy Azzara), devoted to Blue though ignored by the football star. She’s also shunned by the five snotty cheerleaders, who are swiftly done away with in a single stroke. Making reference to a halftime salute to vegetables, the cheerleaders are carrying their props single file across the field...














...when someone throws a javelin through all five, an act soon to be described as the “Shish-Ke-Bob” murders in a newspaper headline.

“This must be the act of a maniac,” says a photographer at the scene. “Either that or a very large chef,” replies Phil Hartman in a brief cameo.

More newspaper headlines report further murders of cheerleaders. Then, the backstory sufficiently communicated, we cut to “It Had to Be U... NOW” where Bambi has returned to start her own cheerleader camp. She explains her plans to the maintenance man, Pepe (David Lander, a.k.a. Squiggy), and his mother, Salt, such “exposition” being noted by onscreen prompts.














You get the idea -- we’re being taken through the formulaic steps of a slasher film, with a few more direct borrowings from particular films further signaling the filmmakers’ purpose.

For example, we soon meet innocent Candy -- presented as “Victim #1” -- played by the pixie-like Carol Kane (When a Stranger Calls). Leaving for cheerleader camp, she has a Carrie-like moment with her protective mother (Eileen Brennan), with obvious jokes about “dirty pillows” and such, and Candy revealing her telekinetic powers.














“I just wanna be a normal girl,” says Candy, with Kane employing that cute, baby-like tone for which she is known. And which makes the subsequent lines a touch funnier. “I’m gonna make friends! I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna go out with boys! I’m gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs...!”

We quickly meet the other five “victims,” each introduced in equally farcical set pieces. There’s Glenn Dandy, played by a young Judge Reinhold with his hair dyed blonde. Then comes Mandy (Teri Landrum), Sandy (Debralee Scott), Andy (Miles Chapin), and Randy (Marc McClure).

And, yes, later on they get together and enjoy some candy. Which, in the search to create some more daffy dialogue, comes in quite handy.

They all journey to the camp via various means, including riding a bus marked “Certain Death.” We’re then introduced to Sergeant Reginald Cooper, played by comedian Tom Smothers, apparently charged with maintaining law and order there at It Had to Be U, Indiana, and its immediate environs.














That he’s a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police -- or the “Royal Canadamanadanies,” as he mispronounces it -- riding around on a horse named Bob is never explained. I remember reading somewhere this was meant as an inside joke referring to the fact that many of the slasher pics were filmed in Canada, which I suppose is a bit inspired, if not that funny.

Smothers does his best, though, and produces a few grins during his scenes with Paul “Pee-Wee Herman” Reubens who plays Johnson, an assistant of some kind. They discuss and explore the escape of a man named Jarrett from a nearby mental asylum, a murder-slash-carpenter who is said to have killed his family and made bookshelves out of them.

At the asylum we run into the weird chicken dude from Cheech and Chong’s Nice Dreams (in which Reubens also appeared). Stunning to think this guy somehow found a second opportunity in which to strut his stuff.














Finally everyone gathers at the camp, where further slapstick ensues. The six cheerleaders swiftly segregate into three couples. Glenn Dandy is smitten with Mandy, whose name he tries to guess by covering her nametag.














Sgt. Cooper arrives and apparently is immediately taken with young Candy. They surprisingly break into song (with dubbed operatic voices), one of the few genuinely funny moments in the film.














The craziness continues. The cheerleaders go eat at a diner called House of Bad Pies, served by Crystal and China, played by Candi and Randi Brough -- their real names (no shinola). The twin beauties appeared together in a ton of films and TV shows, and at the time were probably best known for their recurring roles on “B.J. and the Bear.”














All of this silliness has to end, however, as the killer must start claiming victims. Actually the silliness continues even there, with a rapid sequence of supposed-to-be-funny-but-aren't-really improbable kills following. To mention one example, Mandy, who has an irrational (even nauseating) devotion to dental hygeine, meets her end somewhat ironically in a toothpasty mess.














There’s strip poker. A milk (and cookies) bath. Some red herring-like misdirection regarding the identity of the killer. Death by pom pom. Death by megaphone. And lots of eye-rolling double entendres, such as when Andy goes to inspect a troubling noise.

“Do you want me to come with you?” asks Sandy. “Sure, if we time it right,” answers Andy. (Rim shot.)

Soon enough we are left with the Final Girl, Candy, running around in her pajamas.













Sgt. Cooper and his horse Bob turn back up near the picture’s end, too, after seeming to have been riding around in another film for most of the way.














The cast might make this one worth seeking out for some. And as I say, there’s a certain (small) segment who will have some nostalgia for this bit of lunacy. Overall, though, unless your interest in slashers carries you to the point of having to check out all the parodies, too, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend going out of your way for this one.

For me, Student Bodies -- with unforgettable Malvert, the double-jointed janitor -- is the one among this group I like the best, a movie that Ken and Seth reviewed way back in Episode 9. Wacko, directed by Greydon Clark (Black Shampoo, Satan’s Cheerleaders, Joysticks), has its moments, too.

- Triple S

Axe (a.k.a. Lisa, Lisa) (1977)

Directed by Frederick R. Friedel
Starring Leslie Lee, Jack Canon, Ray Green, Frederick R. Friedel
Rated R
U.S.A.

A claustrophobic slice of semi-sleaze distributed by Z-movie zeitgeist Harry Novak (Kiss Me Quick, Please Don't Eat My Mother), Axe (or, Lisa, Lisa) was filmed in the mid-1970s in Charlotte, North Carolina, at the time still a drive-in hotspot where many exploitation entries tended to play.

Coming in at a little over an hour, Axe is a lean, mean little picture offering a twist on the rape/revenge formula to create a moody, modest cinematic triumph.

The film opens on a starkly-lit leafless tree and farmhouse at sunset, an organ and piano ambling through an unnerving theme as the credits roll. The soundtrack then abruptly switches to cymbals and other percussion as the scene shifts. Hand-held cameras follow three thugs up to one of the top floors of an apartment building located elsewhere.

The trio settles into one of the units to await the return of its inhabitant. There’s Lomax (Ray Green), kind of a Charles Durning-type chomping a cigar; Steele (Jack Canon), maybe looking a little like Robert Pine (the Sgt. from CHiPs); and Billy (writer-director Friedel), whose ’fro and beard make some of us think of Jeff Lynne of the Electric Light Orchestra.

The group explore the apartment a bit, finding a blonde wig and women’s clothing, items that encourage them to refer to the apartment’s inhabitant as a “fairy.”

Genuine suspense builds as they spot from a window the man -- Aubrey (Frank Jones) -- for whom they are waiting. He arrives with a male companion, and soon Lomax and Steele rough up Aubrey while his partner watches in horror.
















The beating ultimately proves fatal, and as Steele and Lomax advance on Aubrey’s friend he leaps from the window.

“Why’d he do that? It’s 12 floors?” says Steele. “It’s only nine,” deadpans Lomax.

Soon after the thugs are on the road and looking for a hideout. Billy sits in the back seat, expressing misgivings over what’s happened. They stop at a convenience store, and while Billy waits in the car, Steele and Lomax get unreasonably offended at the poor quality of fruit. They start out throwing apples at the frightened female cashier, then practice skeet shooting with the produce right there inside the store.
















“Lady’s got some nice melons, Lomax,” says Steele as they approach the counter. “Maybe she’s got some other nice melons, too?” Once they force her to remove her top, you’re really starting to hate these sadistic-seeming jerks. They try to play a game whereby they make as though they’ll shoot apples off the cashier’s head, William Tell-style.
















More abuse follows, then the creeps finally get bored and leave.

As they drive along, frequent crosscutting happens between the trio and the farmhouse from the credits. There we find young Lisa (Leslie Lee), shown gathering eggs and killing a rooster.
















By herself she cares for her catatonic grandfather (Douglas Powers), entirely unresponsive as she feeds him a raw egg, then bathes him.

As Lisa slowly performs her duties, she’s nearly as expressionless as her grandfather, seemingly resigned to living out this decidedly morose existence.
















When the men arrive, we’re already feeling unsettled, with the scene at the convenience store readying us for more trouble to come. The trio force their way into the house, initially claiming to Lisa, “We don’t mean any harm, ma’am.” Once they discover it is just the young girl and her grandfather, that settles it.

“This place’ll do just fine,” they conclude. (Shudder.)

Policemen soon arrive, and following the thugs’ orders, listless Lisa is able to convince them to leave, after which she feeds the fugitives. Meanwhile, Billy is getting increasingly agitated, and when he tries to run off the other two go after him.

We stay behind with Lisa, alone in a bathroom. She looks in the mirror, then begins to hallucinate -- going mad, it appears.
















In this, her only starring role, Leslie Lee manages to exude a genuinely haunting vibe throughout. A moment later she grabs a straight razor and is amid an attempt to cut her wrist when Billy, having snuck back into the house, arrives to interrupt her.

The other two return, and we resume this interesting and tense dynamic. We have Steele and Lomax, killers without consciences and clearly ready to commit further atrocities. There is Billy, caught in between but implicated nonetheless. And Lisa and Grandpa, two seemingly helpless, mostly silent victims-in-waiting.

That the remainder of the film pushes things over into a rape/revenge formula might seem predictable, but the execution (pun intended) from here on out is anything but.
















While not as brutal or intense as Last House on the Left, I Spit on Your Grave, or other such films of the subgenre, there remain several stylish -- even uncanny -- sequences that together lift this low-budgeted thriller into something a bit more memorable than your average grindhouse fare.

In other words, Axe should satisfy those of a certain taste.
















- Triple S

American Nudie Classics (2011)

Starring Various

Directed by Various

Unrated

USA

"Off with the clothes -- and on with the initiation."

Spanning the early 1930's through to the late 1960's, Independent Entertainment's January 25, 2011 release of American Nudie Classics is an entertaining and educational look at nudity in American cinema in all it's many guises throughout the early years of film.

Believe it or not, but the naked human form has not always been as readily available for ocular consumption as it is today. We as a people are blessed, yes, and spoiled, perhaps, by the rampant offerings and ease of availability that wondrous tools such as the internet have bestowed us with. Never are we to be want for a nipple, or burdened by bushlessness. No, we are living the true American dream that our forefathers fought and died defending and preserving. As the custodians of the wealth of exposed flesh the pioneers of provocativity have provided us with, we must look to and celebrate the humble beginnings that brought us to this blessed age.

American Nudie classics is an enlightening exploration of not only nudity in film, but also a fascinating look at the styles, trends and attitudes toward life and sex that cultures of our past possessed.

Divided by decade, containing about 30 minutes of material each, our journey starts out with the silent films of the 1930's. Among the 6 features here are a good variety of nudist/educational film,"erotic" dancing, nudie-cuties and even some fairly explicit lesbian action.

For slight clarification of terms, the nudist film usually features one or more females casting aside their clothing to take part in outdoor activity as a means to enjoy the "nudist lifestyle", while the nudie-cutie still features rampant nudity, but lacks the educational excuse used in the nudist film. While not necessarily self-satisfaction material, this genre of film is actually pretty entertaining. It's light-hearted, innocent fun with frolicking flesh in all it's natural beauty, which is a nice digression from throat gagging and extreme anal antics.

Next up, we explore the 1940's. The 12 loops here show a rise in the pin-up girl aesthetic, and a dramatic lessening of stark naked flesh. While there is still plenty of nudity to be had, there is a prevalent reliance on lingerie, bikinis and costumage to provide the thrills. The clips here share their time between girls frolicking in previously mentioned lacy underclothing, doing little dance routine things (including one really surreal one in a cake shop with women in chef's hats singing on a spinning cake), and hanging out in their apartment complex striking poses awkwardly in and out of the pool.

With the 50's come a collection of 14 more short erotic films. This decade concerns itself primarily with the stylings of burlesque, vaudeville and "hoochie coochie", with only a few loops concentrating on solo girls doing intimate stripteases in what look like hotel rooms. Again, the nudity is limited here - maybe even more so than the previous decade.

I myself am not a huge fan of the burlesque genre, or of dancing in general, so I may not be the fairest judge of these reels, but if you like this sort of thing, I genuinely believe you will be giddy with delight at the clips contained within this decade.

Finally, we come to the 60's and the last 9 loops in this collection. This decade consists solely of solo girl stag loops. Here we see a re-emergence of nudity, albeit it's still quite chaste. There's a strange haunting quality to these types of films, made more so by the absence of audio, the scratchy, faded prints, and the intimacy of the situation itself.

With over 3 hours of content, there is no doubt that you will find plenty in American Nudie Classics that will amuse, titillate, educate, or otherwise illicit endless entertainment value for you. Although often more educational than arousing, this suburb historical look at the genesis of the nudie film is a must own for any connoisseur of vintage American erotica.

- Jeremy Vaca