Satan's School for Lust (2002)

Directed by Terry West
Starring Misty Mundae, Darian Caine, Barbara Joyce
Unrated
USA

Originally titled Satan's School for Sluts, which makes a hell (ahem) of a lot more sense, this quick and dirty softcore lesbo sex-romp wraps a wafer thin plot about demonic schoolgirls around all the nipple tweaking and implied muff diving, but mainly serves as an excuse to show off the doeful stare and perky tits of lowball scream queen Misty Mundae.

Unceremoniously dumped by her jet setting dad, Mundae finds herself the weary new recruit at the Diablo School for Girls, where the headmistress (Barbara Joyce) nearly socks her right in the mouth for bringing a bible with her, and where she is forced to share a bed with her goth-freak roommate (Ruby LaRocca), who forces her to strip, and then stares at her while she tries to nap. Cue the sacreligious, eroti-violent nightmare sequence.

There's a sub-plot about a local reporter trying to uncover the mysteries behind Diablo, but even that is just grist for the lezzie lust mill. There is, in fact, a big bad secret to be discovered, but the title of the movie gives it away. At any rate, the girls are all suitably sexy, even if their acting skills slither right off the screen, and the climax- and I do mean climax, baby- hits all the right evil-hipster-dirty-girl fantasy spots. Plus, the amazing poster is worth whatever price they're charging.

Also included on this DVD is one of West's earlier efforts, a black and white splatternoir feature, Blood for the Muse. Based on the comic book of the same name, it's a tightly scripted slow boiler about a whore killing video store clerk who's allegiance to some great pain goddess is put to the test when he accidentally falls in love with the wig-wearing, but still fetching, b-star Tina Krause. It's actually twice the film "Satan's..." is, and definitely deserves a look, as it's bloody, compelling, and well acted.

But then again, it doesn't have any Satanic lesbian scenes. Guess you're better off with both.

Not long after this one, Misty Mundae ran off to Hollywood and reinvented herself as a more refined, less tits-out actress, even reverting back to her birth name, Erin Brown. That was the plan, anyway. As of this writing, her latest gig is on the Skinemax softcore late-night series Lingerie. That seems like a lateral move to me. Director Terry West remains active both behind the camera (Flesh for the Beast, Satans's Schoolgirls), and in front of it (Spiderbabe, the upcoming Don't Look in the Basement remake). Darian Caine was recently in The Insatiable Iron Babe and is also a Webcam Girl. I don't know exactly what that means, but my guess is, boners are involved.

Satan's School for Lust is available from Alternative Cinema.

Devil Girl (2007)

Directed by Howie Askins
Starring Jessica Graham, Vanessa Kay, Joe Wanjai Ross
Unrated
USA

"What the fuck are you supposed to be?"
"Horny."

It's a question I've often pondered. Where did all the Juggies go, once that idiotic fuckin' Man Show finally slithered off the air? Well, in the case of one Vanessa Kay, she painted herself red, grew a tail, and became Devil Girl. A living, breathing, shot-on-video manifestation of one of Coop's Supersuckers gig posters, Devil Girl mashes every 90's cool-kid obsession you can think of - greaser-rock, whiskey, Las Vegas, tattoos, burlesque dancers, trailer-parks, muscle cars, backwoods religion, sleazy motels, insane clowns, and naked girls with horns - into one sweltering, kill-for-thrills, desert-bound road flick. It's the fever dream of every booze-soaked trucker-punk band come to cinematic life.

Fay (Jessica Graham) decides to drive her muscle car from one end of Route 66 to the other, stopping occasionally to hustle pool, drag race with the local riff raff, catch a burlesque show, or flashback to simpler times with her dear departed dad.

Meanwhile, somewhere else on that same road, a demented clown (Joe Wanjai Ross) carjacks and robs his way through the desert, stopping occasionally to eat Twinkies, pop pills, snort powders, or kill people.

One day, after running out of gas and wandering down the highway, the clown runs into Devil Girl (Vanessa Kay) - who is red and has horns, and drives a bitchin' car - and she picks him up. They zoom off into the night sky in an explosion of fire.


Then again, maybe it's just the drugs.

The clown nicked Fay's wallet when she wasn't looking, so she ends up at a rundown motel, trying to figure out how to get back on the road. The clown shows up on a bicycle filled with apples, but he splits pretty quickly. Fay heads over to The Burning Bush, the local go-go bar, to try and talk her way into a temporary bartending gig. There are no bartending gigs available. So she dances instead. She's not very good at it, but how good do you need to be, really?

Fay settles in to shanty-town life as she waits for her car to get fixed. The clown, meanwhile, stumbles into the Burning Bush, where he has a difficult time discerning the dancing girls from his various victims. As he chugs free martinis and ogles the local talent, he hallucinates about zombie girls and blood-soaked boobs.

There's an all-girl band blasting away inside the club led by Blare N. Bitch, formerly of Betty Blowtorch, and the scantily-clad young women gyrating suggestively on stage are burlesque performers and porn starlets. So, you know, prepare for old-school hipster overload there.

Also, Devil Girl does a strip tease, as well. Inside the clown's head.

Later on, Fay gets raped by some fucker in an S&M mask. So that was unpleasant. Still, life goes on. Fay adopts an S&M-y stage persona and kicks the clown's face in one night. Just because.

And then Devil Girl meets Fay in the parking lot of the Burning Bush. They lez it up and then take off in D Girl's demon-charger, never to be seen again.

Not really. There's actually atrocity, revenge, a high-speed desert highway chase, and a 70's style downer ending that ties things up much more neatly than you'd expect.

Although it's a bit of a slow burner, Devil Girl eventually ramps itself into a full-boil by the final act and ably delivers on its sex, clowns, and rock n' roll premise. A riot of tattooed hipsters, gleaming muscle cars, industrial cock-rock and alterna-titties, Devil Girl is easily the most original rock n' roll road flick since 1998's Six String Samurai, and should please fans of drive-in trash and twisty, David Lynch-ian weirdfilm alike. The film could have done with more snappy dialogue - Fay has got to be the least-talky protagonist since Ryan O'Neal's The Driver (1978) - but it makes up for the arid exposition with nimble editing and a blasting soundtrack featuring Scum of the Earth, 400 Blows, and other noise-niks.

Jessica Graham and Joe Wanjai Ross are also both terrific in their roles. Ross is so convincing as the maniac clown that it's actually jarring to see him out of the make-up, and Graham is perfect as the half-alive ghost-girl Fay. It's rare to see a character fleshed out as fully as Fay is in a low-budget rock n' roll flick.

Devil Girl does, in fact, have tits and blood. But like all good rock n' roll does, it's also got soul.

Devil Girl's official DVD release date is November 10th, 2009. For more info, or to get a copy, visit the Devil Girl website.

- Ken McIntyre

Sock It To Me, Baby! (1968)

Directed by Lou Campa
Starring Ileen Wreffer, Larry Hunter, Dina St. Helena
Rated X
USA

"I've got a question."
"Ok. I bet the answer is yes."

Sexploitation legend Lou Campa drags us through the muck of some way-out Lynchian suburb-from-hell where the grown-ups are all grabby monsters preoccupied with booze and statutory rape, and the kids all carry switchblades and cry while they masturbate. Shot in stark black and white and staged like a whitebread Grand Guignol play, Sock It To Me, Baby is a remarkably nihilistic character study of one of sleaze cinema's more despicable assholes.

Supercreep Ron Baker (Larry Hunter, who had a brief but amazing career in softcore roughies and Doris Wishman lunacy) is a hand-wringing degenerate gambler. A kept man, he lives off of his wife June (Dina St Helena), a wealthy woman with some very dark secrets. These two deviants are raising their teenage niece, Susan (Gillian Martine). Susan has just turned 18 and yearns for the touch of a man. Luckily for her, she's about to head off to Rome for six weeks. There's sure to be lots of dudes there. More importantly, it will take her far away from Aunt June, who has attempted to seduce her sadly hetero niece on several occasions. She's pretty sure Uncle Ron wants to bang her too, he's just too gutless to put any moves on her.

Depressed that he's got to wait another six weeks for his next chance to try and nail lil' Susie, Ron heads over to see his mistress, Betty (Rosina Martin), an Italian chick with ass-length hair who caterwauls in the bathroom while Ron lies in bed blowing smoke rings and staring at the ceiling, clearly unsure whether he wants to fuck her or bash her skull in. She comes into the room wearing a flimsy negligee and demands they talk before Ron's getting any nookie. He agrees, as long as booze is involved, and as he chugs down scotch, she blabs about how some fucker wants to marry her. Ron calls her bluff, and they commence to make awkward 60's love. The camera occasionally cuts away to a wobbly pin-up painting on the wall. Betty tells Ron to "Kiss her bweasts", like some Italian Elmer Fudd.

Ron gets home from Betty's and peeps into the basement window to see an all-girl topless teenage dance party in full swing. Did they really have those in the 60's? Was that a thing? Anyway, he licks his lips and ponders dragging one of the girls into the bushes, but wisely goes for option B: "Drinks. Lots of drinks."

Meanwhile, upstairs, Aunt June is seducing some sweet young thing, but she is vadge-blocked when a now-sloshed Ron barges in. She gets rid of him with a bottle of hooch and goes back to scissorfighting with the teenage trollop. Ron wanders out into the front yard to puke on his shoes and fall asleep on the lawn, but is distracted by all the greasy young dudes wandering in and out of the house next door. Naturally curious, he peeps in the window to find lippy teen hussy Tina (the remarkable Ileen Wreffer, who looks sorta like a bustier, drug-fried Liv Tyler) servicing an endless stream of dudes. Miraculously, she has figured out how to ball the boys while fully dressed and reading a Spiderman comic. She does take her top off at one point, and sits there laughing at some kid's weiner while he masturbates furiously in front of her.

Tina, it turns out, is a babysitter. She's watching Ron's neighbor Charlie's kids while he's away. At this point, Ron's bananas in lust for her. He stumbles back to Betty's and squints while he bones her, pretending it's Tina, but this proves unsatisfying. So heads over to Charlie's and explains to Tina that he's Charlie's best pal, and just wants to borrow a golf club. At this point it's the middle of the night, but Tina doesn't really care one way or the other. She lets him and in tells him to go look for his fuckin' club. He wanders around slugging hooch and trying to work up the nerve to put the moves on the schoolgirl, but he chickens out.

The next couple of days are rough for Ron. He passes by the local teenage hangout to see Tina frugging away in front of the jukebox. Sorry Ron, no old pervs allowed. Betty's fed up with him, and she tosses him out of her apartment and her life. So there he is, sitting at home, sucking on a bottle, when out of the blue, Tina-from-next-door calls. She tells him she heard a prowler outside, and could he come by and check things out?

Well, yes. Yes he can.

Ron heads over, and it becomes obvious that Tina's in the mood for a little sexin'. Who knows why? She's got problems. They bone and then they smoke and slug booze. Turns our Tina's only 15. Ron's ok with that. He likes 'em young.

Ron and Tina enter into a weird relationship full of toe-sucking and blackmail. It all comes to a head one boozy evening when Ron, lying in bed in his underwear, hears a ruckus in the living room. Tina's invited her old fuck buddies over for an impromptu dance party. Ron tries to break it up, but the dudes threaten him with switchblades, so he crawls back up to his room, thoroughly defeated.

The next morning, he calls up Betty and spills his guts. He asks her to wait for him until he gets out of jail, because he wants to come clean, tell the cops the whole sordid story, leave June forever, and start a new life as an upstanding citizen. While he blabs on, Susan walks in. Remember her? She's back from Rome. She overheard Ron's sad story, so as thank you for not molesting her, she tell him all about June's secret lezzie life, arming him with enough blackmail ammo to stay out of jail, especially since she's downstairs balling Tina.


How's it all end? Badly. How else?

Persistently mean-spirited and filled with terrible people doing terrible things, Sock it To Me Baby is a hilariously jaundiced little film. Hunter's sniveling, alcoholic simp of a character is such a pathetic excuse for a human being that you almost feel bad when well-deserved misfortune consistently rains down on him. Hunter's hand-wringing, whiskey-killing, over the top performance is matched note for note by the amazing Ileen Wreffer, a thick-lipped, cross-eyed, brat-faced ball of teenage thunder who grabs this sordid little story by the throat and soundly thrashes it. How or why Miss Wreffer did not go on to a long and glorious career as a Hollywood femme-fatale/man-eater/ruiner-of-a-good-time is beyond me, because she was sensational here. From her emasculating striptease/handjob to her herky-jerky non-dancing, she is a full-on geek/bitch goddess.

Lou Campa followed this up with the even meaner C'mon Baby, Light My Fire (1969) and then quit directing altogether to concentrate on producing porn, including a 1977 remake of Sock It to Me called Jail Bait. Larry Hunter was last spotted in Doris Wishman's headache-making 1983 slasher A Night to Dismember. Their current whereabouts are unknown - at least to me- but if they're still alive, chances are they are somewhere in the immediate vicinity of booze and broads. Wreffer never made another movie, and the world is a dimmer place because of it.

Sock It to Me, Baby is available from Something Weird Video.

- Ken McIntyre

Mummy's Kiss (2003)

Directed by Donald Glut
Starring Sasha Peralta, Ava Niche, Aysia Lee, Katie Lohman
Unrated
USA

"What am I doing on the floor?"

Glut-mania continues unabated here at MAG headquarters.

I don't think there were any women in the room when this flick got the greenlight, because this is exactly the kind of movie guys want to see, make, and write about. I mean, if you're gonna make a creaky old mummy movie, why not make the mummy a super-hot lesbian? And why not make it part of her resurrection ritual that she has to make out with other hot chicks, to turn them into her topless slaves? And why not make her long lost love the foxiest chick in the school that houses her sarcophagus, a chick prone to strutting around the hallways in black mini-skirts and goth chick make-up, looking earnest and hungry? Sold. I wouldn't be able to write the check fast enough.

Mummy's Kiss takes place at a nondescript college graced with more hot girls in slutty outfits than a Playboy video open audition. They all assemble in an ancient Egyptian history class, thanks to hunky young professor Moore (George Thomas), whom they all attempt seducing, since they're too dumb to actually pass the class by studying.

Despite all the topless come-ons, Moore remains true to his star pupil and fiance Anna (Peralta), who also happens to be the niece of famed local Egyptologist Dr. Harwa (Richard Lynch). The good doctor has recently secured a priceless collection of Egyptian artifacts, including the final resting place of an evil, Sapphic sorceress, Hor-Shep-Sut (Niche), which he keeps stored in the college warehouse.

As often happens in such scenarios, a bumbling security guard unwittingly brings the mummy back to life, and when she sucks out his life-essence with a kiss, she transforms back into her original form, a dark haired Hustler model with enormous implants.

Now free to walk amongst the mortals, Horshep chances upon Anna, and realizes that she's actually the reincarnated form of her former lover, Princess Hat-Em-Ahkat. How will she win back her one true love, stolen from her by the ages? Well, her heart got ripped out by the Pharoah's henchmen a few year back. Otherwise, her Penthouse pet muse ISIS (Lohman) tells her it's as simple as trading spit with a few willing nubiles, and the deed is done.

But what about Professor Moore? Will he let his bride-to-be get seduced by the chesty witch, and run straight into the arms of his other, equally sexy assistant Tina (Lee)? And if so, will the Princess and her sorceress finally be free to enjoy their forbidden love for another 5,000 years? Only one way to find out, Jack.

Ok, so the mummy FX are as cheesy as they come, and the acting- particularly in the case of the terminally stilted Niche- is clunky, at best. The script is also as dry as the desert from which Horshep came. But so what? Virtually every one of the fetching female leads gets topless at some point, and they all end up licking each other's nipples in various brief, but righteous, lesbian scenes somewhere in the meandering story.


Given that the sub-sug-genre is pretty tiny, I am going to go ahead and call Mummy's Kiss the Citizen Kane of softcore lesbian mummy movies. A sequel arrived soon afterward. It had mummies and lesbians, too.

- Ken McIntyre

Sex Pot (2009)

Directed by Eric Forsberg
Starring Rollin Perry, Seth Cassell, Michelle Penick, Rana Davis
Unrated
USA

"It's ok. Most guys fuck their sisters at least once."

The Asylum is an independent production house/distributor known mostly for their series of "Mockbusters", hastily produced rip-offs of popular films that usually hit the DVD shelves a week or so before the films they are aping. See Transmorphers, Terminators, or Snakes on a Train for three typical examples. Sex Pot follows the same basic formula. It grabs fistfuls of Superbad and Sex Drive for inspiration, shakes out any subtlety, and adds Mad Magazine-esque gross-out humor to the mix. The results are, at first glance, revolting. But as the movie slogs ever onwards, some twinkles of charm begin to pop up amidst all the toilet, sperm, and dick gags.

Spanky (Rollin Perry) and Mert (Seth Cassell, 18 Year Old Virgin) are two horny teenage goofballs who scheme their way into an adults-free weekend. Mert has his big brother's beer-and-porn filled apartment all to himself, and convinces the uptight Spanky to join him for two days worth of unbridled debauchery. And so it begins.

Their first order of business is to peep on the two girls who live next door. After peeking through the keyhole to watch the girls get dressed, they decide to take their voyeurism even further. They climb out of the window and on to the 'fire ledge' and get an eyeful of Cindy (Christine Nguyen, Bitch Slap), who walks into the bathroom and peels off her robe. Mert can't take the pressure, and starts masturbating wildly right there, but his boner is thwarted when Cindy plops down on the toilet seat and lets loose with a torrent of grunts. Confused and frightened at the sight of the pretty girl on the toilet, the boys rush back to the apartment, but find that the window was somehow closed on them, so they're stuck.

Cindy, finished with her bowel movement, looks out the window to see what the fuss is, and finds our two hapless heroes. She tells them they can go through her window to get home, but then she and her roommate Julie (Sarah Agor, Scream Queens, PG Porn) strip down to their lingerie and grant the two boys an impromptu lesbian S&M show.

And then they mace them and kick them in the nuts and throw them out.

So, the boys go back to Mert's brother's place, where they root around in his piles of junk until they find a box full of weed and "Caribbean porn". They light up and pop in the DVD. A woman on the video tells them the weed they're smoking is some special blend laced with an aphrodisiac, and the next thing you know, they're fucking watermelons and bagels.
"Ugg," grunts Spanky. "I'm fucking a bagel."
And indeed, he is.

They wake up several hours later cuddled together on the couch, covered in cream cheese and watermelon juice.
"What the fuck just happened?" Asks Spanky, as he yanks his pants up.
"That mumbo jumbo grass made us go homo," Mert decides, wiping the cream cheese off his lips. "Now you've got to suck my dick, so we're even."

Luckily, that homoerotic moment is interrupted when the girls next door ring the doorbell. Seems they're sorry for whaling on these idiots and invite them to a pool party at a friend's house. They hand Mert the address and split. Naturally, the fellas want to party, so they gather up all the drugs they can find. Mert wants to take his brother's SUV, but it's been splattered with gorilla shit by his bro's ex-girlfriend, a loony zoo keeper(!) named Pinky (Lindsey Ahern). It's ok, though. There's a bikini carwash around the corner.

It costs them $40, and the girls hated them, but I will agree with Mert, it was worth it.

Mert stops at a liquor store to pick up some tequila for the party (he plans on using his fishing license as an ID) while Spanky, suffering from a raging boner caused by the handful of Viagra his helpful buddy handed him, starts hallucinating about a mysterious sexy blonde who he thinks is calling him on Mert's brother's cellphone/GPS. It's actually Pinky the zookeeper/stalker. So she squawks at him, which does nothing for his erection. Meanwhile, Mert's fishing license scheme fizzles, so he asks a drunk guy in front of the liquor store to buy him booze. Of course, the guy takes the money and scrambles. Spanky wanders off and almost ends up sucking off a tranny hooker named Strawberry (Rana Davis). It's hijinks galore with these two.

Strawberry ends up getting their Tequila for them. In exchange, she and her galpal Princess (Michelle Penick, Dorm of the Dead) want a ride across town. So, off zooms this motley crew. Princess, who it turns out is still a whore-in-training, offers to blow Spanky for practice. He agrees, but before they get anywhere, a cop starts chasing them down. They toss the weed out the window, and when she lets them go, they go back looking for it. Mert and Spanky end up at a foul-mouthed three year old's party - they think some kids who found their pot are in the house - and Spanky is forced to give the kid a piggyback ride, while still suffering from a throbbing purple penis.

The kid is pretty annoying, but the mom (Elina Madison) is hot, and she offers to bone either or both of 'em. An inviting offer, but she's also got a daughter who's having a teenage house party in the basement. The fellas are sure that's where their weed went, so they go downstairs to look for it. Various bits of mayhem ensue. Spanky ends up in a bizarre game of spin the bottle with the teen creeps, who are all blitzed on the horny weed. A teenage Caligula orgy starts to develop. Upstairs, Mert ends up getting a face full of fat old lady boob, and then wrestles a 13 year old girl for the rest of the weed.

Spanky finally gets his turn at Spin the Bottle, and it lands on "Five minutes with the skank". Said skank is in an unlit room. Spanky enters the murk and proceeds to flop his still throbbing erection in said Skank's mouth. And then Mert comes roaring in, and flips on the light. Turns out the skank is Spanky's own sister, Ellen (Teryl Brouilette). Yikes.
"You're such a loser, Spanky", spits Ellen. "You don't even know how to eat pussy."

Spanky's a little woozy from that encounter, but Mert encourages him to shake it off. Pinky shows up to kill them with a shovel, but changes her mind when Mert sweet-talks her. "Plenty of guys would suck an elephant's balls to get with a sweet piece of ass like you," he says.
"You're so nice!" Coos Pinky.
So, Pinky, Strawberry, Princess, and the boys all pile into the car and head to the party in Malibu.

The soiree is happening at a swank estate somewhere. Mert finds Cindy and Julie and prepares to coax them into sex with weed and dildos. He sees Spanky wooing Princess in a hot tub, and so he stomps over there to ask him if he remembers that they had a fuckin' plan. Spanky is clearly smitten, however, so he ditches Mert and funds a cozy bubble bath to make sweet would-be hooker love with Princess. This does not make Mert happy, but, you know, fuck that guy.

Mert gives the girls the horny weed and then rushes off to the bathroom to chub up with a penis pump. Outside, the expected orgy ensues. Will he accidentally mutilate his genitals and miss the whole party? Will Spanky fall in love with Princess and live happily ever after? Will Pinky find a gun in some closet and massacre everybody?

Hey man, it's an 80's style teen sex comedy. Everything works out in the end. Except maybe for that going-down-on-your-sister thing. That's gonna take some therapy.


Sex Pot was shot in 3D, and was released in both 3D and 2D editions. Having watched the standard version, I can't say how the gimmick works, but to director Fosberg's credit, you can't really tell it was shot with a third dimension in mind. There aren't any glaring poky bits. So my guess is that the 3D is pretty subtle. It would be the only subtle thing about the entire film. The very definition of crass, Sex Pot piles on enough filthy language for a dozen South Park episodes. While there's nothing wrong with over-the-top cussing, Sex Pot uses dirty words like a crutch, often mistaking crudity for humor. It's a shame, because this really is a fitfully funny film, and certainly fun to watch. It just could have been a lot funnier with just a modicum of restraint. Just as Animal House had it's half-retarded, potty-mouthed offspring - hello, King Frat - so too does Superbad. Sex Pot is loud, dumb, and ugly, but that's not necessarily a criticism. There are times when loud, dumb, and ugly is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Clip: Sex Pot trailer

- Ken McIntyre

It's a Haunted Happenin' (2002)

Directed by Pat Bishow
Starring Shira Zimbeck, Karla Bruning, Ginette Marte, Tonye Briggs, Jaime Andrews
Rated G
USA

I always thought the concept of 'genius' had to be prefaced with an "Evil"- I mean, you never hear of a "Good Genius", right? Well, the rulebook may have to be amended, because director Pat Bishow exhibits many moments of brilliance-on-a-budget in It's a Haunted Happenin', but there's scant little evidence of evil going on. Proving that his previous spandex and Kung Fu epic Girls from HARM was no fluke, Haunted is just as funny, kinetic, and lovely to look at, and just as devoid of ham-fisted exploitation elements like sex, violence, and repeated, gratuitous use of the word "Motherfucker". Instead, it gives us sugar-sweet pop numbers performed by impossibly cute chicks and classic haunted house hijinks involving a mad scientist and his array of groovy ghoulies, including a hunchback, the mummy, and the ever-popular guy in a gorilla suit.

The madcap story involves hard pop chick trio the Soultanglers squaring off against treacle-toed rich girl crooners The Darlings to win the "Ghoul a Go Go" battle of the bands.

The winner gets to appear live on the show of the same name, a wildly popular Saturday morning chiller thriller show hosted by a vampire named Vlad, his Tor-like henchman, and the invisible man.

But first, they have to survive a night at Whitewood mansion, which may or may not be haunted. Even if it isn't, there's a mad scientist in the basement with aspirations for world domination by chemically concocted the world's greatest girl group. And that's just the thumbnail version.

There are also the misadventures of a girly she-spy, a musical beach party, a menacing ventriloquist dummy, and plenty of 60's pop culture references strewn about like confetti. If you're thinking the Monkees, then you're right. And if you're thinking 'Scooby Doo ending', you're even more right. And if you think that this sounds like as much fun as you can possibly have without tossing in bucketfuls of sin and skin, then you are totally down with Bishow's master plan.

Although all the girl rockers are suitably adorable, special mention must be given to Jaime Andrews, who plays Zera, the Soul Tanglers' bundle of nerves guitar player. In her Clash shirt and sweatbands, she's like a cross between Lucille Ball and Joan Jett, a screwball riot grrrl. Perpetually menaced by sinister ventriloquist dummies and rampaging gorillas, her shameless mugging and slapstick chase scenes are hysterical. She's a charmer, this one, with impeccable comic timing.

Check out a clip of Jaime below.

If I put this script in the hands of any other b-movie director I can think of, it'd turn out all wrong, full of lesbo romps and Lunachicks rip-offs and graphic beheadings; but Bishow is operating on a whole different, higher level, one that burrows right into the eternal ten year old within us all, and stays there. It's like a bowl of Frankenberry, an ice cream soda, a pile of funny books, a Press and Play record player stacked with girl group hits, and a Creature Feature marathon all wrapped up in one hopelessly optimistic package. I loved it. You will too, unless you're a creep. Completely mandatory viewing.

Clip: Yikes! Stuck in a cell!

- Ken McIntyre

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