Ghostkeeper (1982)

Directed by Jim Makichuk 
Starring Riva Spier, Murray Ord, Sheri McFadden 

“Put the gun down and come to mother.”

This is one of the most effortlessly atmospheric horror films I’ve seen in a while. I mean, this thing is all mood, snowbound and claustrophobic and suffocating. An estranged couple, Marty and Jenny (Riva Spier, Murray Orf) and their hotsy-totsy blonde friend Chrissy (Sherri McFadden), head out on a snowmobile trip in the Rocky Mountains (actually Canada) but get sidelined by a snowstorm and end up at a seemingly abandoned lodge. Guess what? It’s not abandoned at all! First though, Marty and Jenny have some awkward conversations and break up a few times, and then Chrissy tells inappropriate sex stories before taking a bath. Naturally, she is unceremoniously dragged out said bath by some freak and fed to some other mutant freak in a shed. Meanwhile, the couple is contending with a crazy old woman who lives at the place and sabotages their snowmobiles so they can’t escape. And if that’s not bad enough, Marty cracks under the pressure almost immediately, rubs grease on his face, and leaves Jenny to die in the snow. She is forced to find her inner warrior and take on the murderous loonies and the blizzard all on her own.

It may or may not help that this was supposed to be an abominable snowman movie. It never gets there, but I’m not mad about it. Here's what I like about Ghostkeeper. First of all, this was one of those tax shelter deals, so it wasn’t even really meant for release. In fact, they ran out of money before it was finished, so any hopes for special fx were out the window (that will be obvious when you’re watching it). Since the director couldn’t shoot it as written without any dough, they just made the second half up as they went along. Ghostkeeper is not even meant to be, and yet it is. And despite its throwaway origins, it could easily be a low-key haze-horror cult classic, not unlike its spiritual cousins The Witch Who Came from the Sea or Let’s Scare Jessica to Death. Like both of those films the acting is good but has a distinct “real people” vibe, like some private-press loner-folk album from 1972, you know what I mean? It feels less like a movie and more like you’re just watching somebody’s loopy acid-reflux dream. And I also like the snow. It’s everywhere. Half the movie is Marty and Jenny struggling to stand up in waist-high snowdrifts. It’s basically snowing the entire time. I don’t think Jenny even takes off her snowsuit in the whole movie. I think she even sleeps in it. I mean this snow is relentless. Anyway if you like the aforementioned movies - or Innkeepers, which shares a similar slow-rolling dreamy vibe - I recommend you check this one out.

BTW, there is a blu-ray available with a new 2k scan; the version I saw on Amazon Prime is kinda smudgy and has a ton of surface noise, like a crackly vinyl record, which actually added to the atmosphere.

- Ken McIntyre

Nightmare in Badham County (1976)

Director by John Llewellyn Moxey
Starring Deborah Raffin, Lynne Moody, Chuck Connors

"Raise that strap to me white trash and I will tear your ugly heart out!" 

This was the most stressful watch I've experienced in a long time. This was a TV movie, but it is unlike any tv movie that I ever remember seeing. Granted this is some kind of theatrical cut but it's loaded with full-frontal nudity and rape (including a teenager). It's a women in prison story about two freewheeling California girls who run afoul of a racist small-town sheriff (Chuck Conners), who railroads them and sends them to a prison farm. Robert Reed (Mr Brady) is the warden! Tina Louise (Ginger) is the main prison guard! The prisoners are forced to work in the field all day in grimy sackdresses that they are not allowed to wash. They are routinely beaten, sexually assaulted and murdered. The two main girls plot their escape but you just know it's a doomed mission. Despite being loaded with established tv actors that you recognize from much lighter things, this all felt very real and was played very seriously. It was surprisingly upsetting. I don't remember this airing, hopefully my mom didn't let me watch it. My buddy Amanda the TV movie queen provided the commentary track on the bluray. I'll give it a listen when I'm emotionally ready (ugh). Anyways definitely recommended, just prepare yourself for seriously bleak tones.

- Ken McIntyre

Night of a Thousand Cats (1972)

Directed by Rene Cardona Jr
Starring Anjanette Comer, Hugo Stiglitz, Zulma Faiad 

"Dorgo, the cats are hungry!" 

Holy smokes, I love this movie. Some rich creep in a cool leather jacket lives in a creaky old castle and for some unknown reason he has a thousand cats. They’re all corralled in a pen and at night he hucks chunks of meat at them. Occasionally one of them makes it over the fence and he just grabs it by the tail and tosses it back into the cat-pit. Why? Who knows? His other thing is he picks up hot Mexican women in bikinis (sometimes in his helicopter) and brings them back to his castle. After wining and dining them he chops off their heads and puts ‘em in jars.  Plus sometimes he plays chess with his evil henchman while wearing a silk bathrobe and smoking one of those weird opium pipes like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland had. I watched the version on Amazon Prime. It’s only 63 minutes long so probably all the stuff that might explain what’s going on has been chopped out. Doesn’t matter tho. You’ll get it. Great soundtrack, too. Mostly bongos.

- Ken McIntyre